Ashton Virgin Sun Grown (VSG) Torpedo

We have been having a ridiculous run of warm weather recently, especially for December. So when it came to be Friday night and the thermometer stood at 68 degrees F, even at 9PM, I knew I needed to take advantage of these decidedly un-Christmas temperatures. I grabbed this Ashton VSG, which is a stick I have never tried before, and headed out to the porch in a t-shirt. Not too shabby.

I paired this beautiful-looking cigar with a glass of Johnny Walker Green, which I was introduced to by Lawson at the beach last year. Hmm. Despite how that last sentence sounded, it was a thoroughly un-romantic encounter. Well, mostly.

In any case, the JW Green is a great 15-year blended scotch that has a nice smoky flavor balanced by a great smooth feel. I didn't know if it would pair well with the Ashton, but how can you go wrong with scotch?

The cigar started REALLY strong, to the point where I was worried it would be too strong for me. It was harsh and way too spicy. But it very quickly mellowed out, into a nice mix of coffee, leather, and cedar. The only problem is that after that initial hit of super-strong harshness, the normal flavors seemed pretty bland. But as my tastebuds adjusted I really liked it.

The draw was ridiculously loose, almost too much so. It just billowed smoke, and I could barely feel the smoke as I drew on it. I got used to it, but it was a bit too loose for me. The burn was not great at the beginning, I probably had to touch it up about 5 times. But after the first third it really got better.

As the cigar went on, it got sweeter, and less coffee-tasting. But at the end the spice came back (albeit less), and so did the coffee. And I could actually taste some root beer in there, strangely enough.

Overall, it was a good cigar. Very tasty, good draw, and incredibly well-constructed. The main sticking point is the price, averaging around $8-11 depending on the store. I liked the cigar, but not $10 worth.

So, while I enjoyed it, I have to bump it down a notch to a Boss Hogg.

Ashton Virgin Sun Grown (VSG) Torpedo
Size: Churchill (6.5" x 55 ring)
Taste: Medium-Full
Draw: Ridiculous
Burn: Bad at first, but got better
Flavors: coffee, earth, leather, spice
Overall Rating:
If this were a cheaper cigar it would rate higher, but for the price it Hoggs the wallet.

Rocky Patel Decade 10th Anniversary

This was actually a blind taste test, organized over at Something Awful. I recieved a bandless cigar in the mail, along with an envelope containing the band. The idea was to try the cigar without knowing what it was, then check the band at the end and see how your taste notes paired up with what people generally say about that stick.

Away we go!

I paired my cigar from forum user Restnesizzle with a delicious glass of Balvenie Doublewood 12yr single-malt. A delicious scotch.

The cigar was box-pressed and had a great feel, with a pre-light smell of cocoa and leather. The pre-light draw was great, but I have learned that doesn't always mean a good draw.

Luckily, this one had a great draw. Lots of smoke, easy pull, fantastic burn. At the beginning, it started off with some nice spice, and a little hay or grass flavor that reminded me of a Patel Edge. It was nice and smooth, and pretty strong.

It started to change about a third of the way in, and moved into an earthier flavor with less spice.



Near the halfway mark it started having a distinct cocoa taste, with more earth as it went. For the last third, it became a slightly harsher taste, with the main notes being a spicy sweetness over an earthy base.

Overall, a very enjoyable cigar. Checking the band....It was a Rocky Patel Decade 10th Anniversary! I have never had one of these, and I really enjoyed it. A nice Halloween cigar, full of SPOOKY SURPRISES! Well, it was tasty. Maybe not spooky.

Anyhow, for the nice flavors and changing tastes, along with a great construction, I give it a Hogg. Them Dukes, them Dukes!

Rocky Patel Decade 10th Anniversary
Size: Toro (6.5" x 52 ring)
Taste: Medium
Draw: Great
Burn: Even and consistent
Flavors: Spice, hay, earth, and a little cocoa.
Overall Rating:
Rosco Patel, you're in trouble now!

Fuente Hemingway Best Seller

I have heard a lot of good things about the Hemingway line, but I have never tried one. Until now! Well, until a few days ago.

I actually picked this little guy up in Arizona, where their tobacco taxes are apparently much cheaper. I got a collection of nice sticks there for a much lower price than I could find here in the east.

Anyhow, the Best Seller is a slightly larger version of the popular Short Story, which I had not had before either (I also bought one of those, but I found it very similar to this cigar, so I won't review that separately).

It has a nice perfecto shape which I find creates an even burn, but some people have trouble with it. It is deceptive in its size, since it burns as long as a much bigger cigar. I enjoyed a nice long book-reading evening on the porch with this little guy.

I paired it with a nice Eagle Rare SB bourbon that had a nice bite to it, and they went together pretty well. The cigar tended towards a nice clean tobacco flavor, with some nuts and cedar. It kinda tasted the way a humidor smells. And since I like that smell, it was all good with me.

I didn't notice any distinct taste changes, and the flavor was a bit low-key for me. But it was definitely a solid cigar. So for having a decent flavor, good burn and nice construction, I give it points. The slightly too-high price, the one-note flavor profile, and slightly bland taste knock it down a couple pegs.

In general, I give it a Belvedere.

Fuente Hemingway Best Seller
Size: Perfecto (5" x 55 ring)
Taste: Medium-Mild
Draw: Good
Burn: Even and consistent
Flavors: Cedar and nut, tasty tobacco flavor
Overall Rating:
Fat in the middle like Mr. Belvedere.

Nub 460 Habano

(Editor's Note: "The Nub" was also Lawson's previous girlfriend's nickname for him.)

I picked up this little thing on a whim - the other Nick had been talking about some recent cigarbid wins, and I was tempted to give it another go (had some bad experiences several years back) - but also having a business trip coming up, the last thing I wanted was for an order of cigars to be left out baking in a box on my back porch for 4 or 5 days...

So I swung by the local shop and picked a couple up, one of which was the Nub 460 Habano. If you've read the hype sheet for these, you'll know:

Rather than wait for a cigar to develop and evolve, which typically occurs an inch to two inches in, the idea behind Nub was to specifically blend it to hit its sweet spot right off the bat and remain at its peak right through to the end.

See what I did there? I assumed you were familiar with the hype, and then included it anyway. (Editor: Just like when that glorious day comes when I can finally fire you. You'll know it's coming, but I'll still tell you in person.)

So... does it live up? Sorta. Maybe. I guess it depends how your read into it.

Let's start with construction, it's a beautiful little cigar - small but with a good heft. The draw was consistent, and it built up a solid bit of almost-white ash as I smoked.

Anyway, out of the gate, the cigar had some nutty, almost almond overtones that stuck with it throughout, but it started with a bit of heat that mellowed out quickly - if that "heat" was the cigar "developing and evolving" - they might have missed their mark with their stated goal... but that said, I don't really care. (Editor: Congratulations! Neither do I!)

It was a charming little cigar, packing enough punch to leave me quite lightheaded by the finish, and I'm eager to try some of the other styles in this line. At approximately $4.50 for the tiny stick, don't be fooled, it's a solid hour-long smoke, and a powerhouse at that - I wish it was a bit cheaper, to make a good "weekday" stick, but it was still enjoyable. (Editor: Hey, speaking of enjoyable - remember that time when you wrote a review that I loved? Haha just kidding.)

Short, stocky and lovable, this one gets a Hogg.

Nub 460 Habano
Size: 4" x 60 ring
Taste: Medium-Wild
Draw: Good
Burn: Even and consistent
Flavors: Almonds and Tobacco.
Overall Rating:

Hoyo De Monterrey (Honduran) Dark Sumatra Espresso

Well, it's only been a few months, better do a cigar review!

Our editor had an unfortunate incident with a bamboo skewer and a wild ptarmigan, so we have been out of business for a while. But we are back and better than ever! Actually, the same.

I recently bought a 4-pack of these Hoyos from JR Cigar, as I wanted something to fill out my order after I bought a sweet leather cigar case for taking smokes to the bar. I hadn't heard much about them, but the super-dark wrapper caught my interest and they were very reasonably priced. (4 cigars for $14, or $3.50 each)

Well I've been on a business trip in Illinois, and then had to work the weekend to finish up the stuff I was doing on the trip. So a cigar and bourbon on the porch was in order. For the bourbon, I went for a new one, Elmer T. Lee Single Barrel. For the cigar, I chose this little Hoyo.

It was a short guy, but lasted over an hour. The draw was great, the burn was fine, with just one touchup needed. The flavors were very enjoyable, strong without being harsh. Definite spice, mellowing into some coffee and a leathery taste, and under it all a smooth tobacco flavor.

The bourbon was pretty good, but didn't knock my socks off. I still prefer Woodford Reserve as the mid-price champ. But the smoke was a definite pleasant surprise.

I really enjoyed the smoke, especially for the price. I will be getting more of these in the future. The nice and interesting flavors, the good construction, and the good price make this a solid Hoff.

Hoyo De Monterrey (Honduran) Dark Sumatra
Size: Espresso (4.5" x 50 ring)
Taste: Medium-Wild
Draw: Great
Burn: Even and consistent
Flavors: Spicy pepper, leather, coffee
Overall Rating:
Michael Knight in shining armor

Camacho Triple Maduro

It was a warm Miami evening. Dinner had been an excellent Beef Bourguignon (the italics make it more french!) and I was now sitting in a poolside gazebo with a strong coffee, and an equally strong cigar.

First off, the Camacho Triple Maduro is a damned sexy cigar - from the dark maduro wrapper to a pretty impressive silver foil label. That comes at a price, though, at around 10-12 dollars apiece, this will never be an everyday cigar for me... though, admittedly, I don't think I'd want it to be.

Powerful. Crazy, crazy, strong and powerful is all that I can say about this cigar. I'd just finished dinner and it still hit me like a ton of bricks how strong this thing was, and on an empty stomach, it might have done me in.

Dont' get me wrong, it was great - it's on a short list of some of the strongest cigars I've ever encountered, and at the right time and place, it's a wonder. Assuming you have the palette for it (which is to say you have a thing for strong cigars in the first place) I definitely recommend picking one of these up for a try.

Take your time though - plan on at least 90 minutes - any faster and you're asking for trouble, as it will easily overpower you.

The draw was excellent, the ash held it's own, and... did I mention it was a powerful cigar?

The only thing holding back this cigar was that it was a little one sided - it as a heavy woodsy taste throughout, with notes of pepper getting more and more prominent as it went, but it was still pretty one sided - that's the only fault I can give.

This handsome, heavy-handed hunk of hurt hurtles home, HOFF in hand.


Camacho Triple Maduro
Size: Torpedo (6" x 54 ring)
Taste: Wild, Batshit Wild.
Draw: Great
Burn: Mostly Even
Flavors: Woody with peppery notes.
Overall Rating:

Padron 1964 Anniversary Series Maduro Torpedo

Well, I will let my nerd flag fly. This Friday was the premiere of Season 4 of the new Battlestar Galactica, and I was excited. We went over to Curt's house to enjoy the giant 52" HDTV and the company, and it was a great time. (Editor: So... while pridefully flying your "flag" you went to "Curt's house" to enjoy his "Giant TV", and had a "Great Time".)

Before the show started, we decided it was time for a cigar. So Curt made some manhattans using Woodford Reserve, which was just awesome. (Editor: At least he bought you a drink first...) And then I grabbed this Padron 1964 maduro and Curt went for a Torano (don't remember which one).

I got this stick as a part of a secret santa thing back in November, and I have been looking forward to it. Well, I have to say that it definitely delivers. Just a kick in the ass of strong and complex flavors. The taste was really strong, any stronger and it would have crossed over into harsh. It had a nice spice to it, but there were spikes of sweetness that appeared from time to time. The draw was on the loose end of perfect, I was smoking everyone out with the giant clouds billowing out of this thing.

I really liked how the cigar changed constantly, it made for a really interesting smoking experience. The manhattan complemented it well, and overall I had a wonderful time.

Now, the big caveat here is the price. Like I said, I got this as a gift. But if you want to buy this fella you are looking at at least $14 per stick. That is pretty darn high. The last time I reviewed a stick that high (the Cohiba), I said it wasn't worth it to me. Well, this one is, but just barely. I really loved it, and it had the complexity that I find so interesting in higher-end cigars. I will get one again, but it will be a while. And I definitely won't be getting a box. So while I can't give it a full 10 rating, I liked it enough to push past the price and bestow it with a strong Hoff.

Padron 1964 Anniversary Series Maduro Torpedo
Size: Torpedo (6" x 52 ring)
Taste: Wild
Draw: Insane
Burn: Even and consistent
Flavors: Strong tobacco, spice, some cocoa and nut
Overall Rating:

Definitely a KITT not a KARR.

Padron 1926 Serie No. 9

I'm in Miami for the next couple of days on business - still full from lunch at a great Cuban place, I decided to be creative with my dining per diem for dinner - I swung by a cigar bar, picked up a few nice cigars, priced more than I would generally pay for such, and a large shot of Colada - a wonderfully sweet Cuban espresso that completely pervades Miami - every gas station you walk into has a commercial espresso machine just to make this stuff for under a buck a shot.

Anyway, my first buy was the Padron 1926 Serie No. 9. I don't give a great deal of credence to Cigar Aficionado's ratings - since we all know there are some pretty terrible cigars out there, and I've never seen a CI review lower than an 80... but this cigar was their top rated smoke for 2007. At 18 dollars a stick, it isn't one I'm likely to pick up again, but I can say I'm glad I tried it.

Let me set the scene - early April, Miami - sitting poolside at my hotel, legs kicked up on a couple of teak chairs, with a nice warm breeze blowing in off the coast.

Add in one of the best cigars I've had in a long time, and it takes the sting out of some of the annoyances of business travel.

The cigar started out smooth - and stayed that way throughout. The draw was nice and clean - and while the flavors were incredibly rich, they were never overpowering, and always smooth. The fact that Padron ages their tobaccos for these cigars for up to 5 or 6 years really shines through in the overall mellowness of this stick. The natural espresso notes of this cigar paired well with the sweet Cuban Colada I opted to drink with it.

When I first started smoking cigars - 10 or more years ago, I had my first Cuban - an old style RyJ which was so mild, so perfectly creamy that I spent the next several years trying to find a (legal) cigar that personified that mellow-but-powerful style. I think eventually I gave up - even later Cubans disappointed, as the cigar industry itself started to uproot itself and leave. My tastes turned toward increasingly potent, full-bodied cigars and I left that search behind.

I'm not sure that this compares to that original - I'm not sure anything ever will - but this cigar is a prime example of how strong and complex a milder cigar can be.

I give this 9 gets a 9, as I'm Walken out the door...


Padron 1926 Serie No. 9
Size: Corona (5 1/4" x 56 ring)
Taste: Mild (Medium)
Draw: Excellent
Burn: Even
Flavors: Rich, earthy, coffee tones.
Overall Rating:

Olde World Reserve Maduro by Rocky Patel

I grabbed this cigar before scooting down to Cincinnati for another fun working weekend - I was hoping for warm weather, and finally, late sunday afternoon, the sun finally decided to make an appearance.

I stepped outside, clipped a v-cut and, half a dozen matches later, lit the stick up. (Editor: And another half dozen matches later, you've destroyed the evidence of you and the Senator's illicit affair. )

But before I get ahead of myself - holding this puppy to light, I could tell it was going to be a strong smoke. Not surprising, this like the Camacho Coyolar Puro, came out of the CI Full-Bodied Sampler I picked up a few months back. Now I've had potent cigars before, but this one had a very strong version of that tingly nicotine feel you get from full-bodied cigars. I suspected I was in for a treat. (Editor: Know what else would be a treat? If you'd stop calling me every weekend in a drunken stupor, confessing your love of My Little Pony)

I wasn't disappointed - the cigar was strong right out of the gate, and didn't back down. Surprisingly smooth for a maduro, with an excellent draw and build construction, after a minute it really opened up into buttery, leathery notes that really floored me. I wasn't expecting anything like what I got.

I've had a strange run in cigars now - three in a row that have started off somewhat "meh", before really knocking my socks off. This one was a classic example of the kind of full-bodied cigar that sneaks up on you. You don't realize how strong it is until you stand up when you're finished. (Editor: That's what.....he said?)

It wouldn't be a Hassle to (h)offer this cigar to anyone that loves full bodied cigars. And for that, it gets an 8. (Editor: Ugggggghhhh...)


Rocky Patel Olde World Reserve Maduro
Size: Toro (6" x 52 ring)
Taste: Wild
Draw: Good
Burn: Even
Flavors: Buttery Leather.
Overall Rating:

Felipe Dominicana Serie Especial T

I've had this review sitting around for a while so I thought I'd post it. Novel idea, huh?

So, I am reaching the end of my CI sampler that I bought a while back. I have let this Felipe Dominicana sit for a while because, frankly, it looked like crap. The bland band art and the middle-of-the-road wrapper color didn't excite me. It looked like filler, and the last filler stick I had was pretty poor.

But this one surprised me. It had a really pleasant mild sweet flavor, and the burn and construction were top-notch. The flavors tended towards a tangy nut flavor, with a lot of vanilla sweetness. Overall, very pleasant.

This was a nice cigar and paired well with the smoother Woodford Reserve bourbon I was drinking. It wasn't the greatest stick I've ever had, but it was a pleasant surprise and I would not hesitate to have another one if it came as filler in another sampler.

In summary, I give it a solid Belvedere.

Felipe Dominicana Serie Especial T
Size: Torpedo (6" x 54 ring)
Taste: Mild
Draw: Great
Burn: Even and consistent
Flavors: Sweet and tangy
Overall Rating:

Streaks on the china
Never mattered before
Who cared?
When you drop kicked your jacket
As you came through the door
No one glared

Montecristo Platinum Toro

It was a cold night in Louisville. I stepped outside to enjoy a well touted Montecristo Platinum Toro, wondering to myself "Self, I wonder if there's anything to this cigar, or if it's merely the sort of thing that posers pick up because of a certain combination of brand name, and flashy label." (Editor: "Self, review applications more thoroughly in the future, before just hiring any moron with a typing hand who walks through the door. Sincerely, Joe Editor (you)" )

Little did I know that in less than 24 hours, I'd be dead.

Ok, not dead, just stranded in Kentucky with a bad alternator.

Which is pretty much the same thing. (Editor: You jerk, you got my hopes up.)

As I lit the cigar, I wasn't impressed with the draw. It was alright, but nothing to write home about.

In a completely obvious statement, the cigar began with strong tobbacco notes, but a third of the way in, what I could only describe as mulled spices began to take over. Prior to this point, I really wasn't feeling any love for this smoke. It was cold, and at this point (about 30 minutes in) I really considered dousing the thing and heading inside.

As I said, once I hit the 1/3 mark, savory tones began to creep in, with those same mulled spices. Halfway through, it took on an eggy savoriness (a strange description, I'm sure, but it was something that really struck me - it was something akin to well peppered scrambled eggs, and certainly wasn't unpleasant). (Editor: OK, so your cigar tasted like eggs, and you figured - "Hey, what the hell, let's keep it going"? Well let me give you a little hint. If it starts tasting like spoiled milk, just toss it. ) Two-thirds through, nutty tones begin to take over, and remained until the literal bitter end - as enjoying as the ride was, the cigar finished on a terribly bitter note before I pitched it.

Overall I enjoyed the smoke - it was far more complex than I expected, and when it really took off, the flavors and warmth were enough to keep me outside in the cold long enough to see it to the end.

There were some drawbacks - a boring first first third, a very bitter end, and less than ideal draw hold this cigar back from an 8, and firmly plant it as a 7.


Montecristo Platinum Toro
Size: Toro (6" x 50 ring)
Taste: Medium
Draw: Ok
Burn: Fairly Even, minor touchup required.
Flavors: Complex, mulled spices, savory and nutty tones.
Overall Rating:

El Rey del Mundo (Hon) Robusto Larga

You know what would be cool? *Pause for response* It would be cool if I could smoke cigars in my office. I think I would immediately be the guy in charge. That's probably why it's not allowed. (Editor: The thought of you in charge has permanently dented my brain.)

A smoked this cigar about a week or so ago at Amras. It was a nice place. The staff was really good but the drinks were a tad pricey. We sat outside and some homeless guy walking by asked us for money. He had some story that was more or less the same story you always hear from a homeless guy asking for money. The waiter was nice and stepped in and took care of it. (Editor: OK, now let's hear the true story. There was no homeless guy, was there? It was you. Smelling of urine and failure. AGAIN.)

The cigar I smoked was not homeless however. I gave it a good home until that day. (Did you see that transition? One of the best of all time. I'll probably go to the transition hall of fame) This El rey del mundo looked really nice. The first cigar I ever smoked that came wrapped in tissue paper. It was not a maduro but had a dark oily wrapper as if it were. The cigar felt solid like it was made out of wood. The burn was even and consistent.

The first third of the cigar was peppery with hints of chocolate and leather. Hints is not really the right word. There was more than just hints but the pepper was the strongest flavor. The second third of the cigar was great. All the flavors came together well. This cigar may not have been really complex but the flavors were stood out. Chocolate, coffee, pepper, and leather were all there in abundance. (Editor: Speaking of leather in abundance, can you stop sending me pictures from your "experimenting" in college? Please?) The last third of the cigar I remember being more peppery like first third but not overpowering.

One of the best things about this cigar is the price. $3 is all that it cost and I don't think you would be disappointed if you paid twice or three times that. We should have some bargain seal of approval. Best cigars under $5 or something. Anyway, gets a great bargain seal of approval. I think the seal should have a cigar taking money from it's mom's purse with a slash through it. OR a homeless guy smoking a $50 dollar cigar with a slash through it. (Tied in homeless people again) Ok, we'll discuss the seal design more later.

El Rey del Mundo (Hon)
Size: Robusto Larga (6" x 54 ring)
Taste: Medium
Draw: Good
Burn: Even and consistent
Flavors: Chocolate, Pepper, Coffee, leather
Overall Rating: A smoke good enough to make you forget all about that perm you just got

Mayorga Robusto Maduro

This week's review is brought to you by the letters T, G, and the number 8. But that no-good deadbeat Number 6 totally owes us money. I'm gonna break your knees, you bastard! Hmm..does a number have knees? Maybe I'll break his loop at the bottom of the 6. (Editor: My god you waste a lot of my time.)

I was at the J&R Cigars store in Burlington, NC, last week, and picked up a couple singles. I got an AVO Maduro, a couple RyJ Reserve Maduros, and an Upmann Vintage Cameroon. As I was trying to choose another cigar, the woman at the counter recommended this Mayorga Robusto Maduro. I'll be honest, I thought she was trying to foist some crap off on me that didn't sell well. The cheapo-looking band only enhanced my suspicion. But she seemed decent enough, and I liked the color of the cigar itself, so I got it. Plus, it was really cheap (around $2.75). (Editor's Cat: awsdfadxccacaaaaacgfffffffffcuhuhnnmiopo,.-=0-09o09op)

Wow, what a fantastic smoke. The wrapper was a beautiful mottled black-brown, box-pressed, and smelled great. The draw was the best I have ever experienced, just huge clouds of smoke. The burn started to tunnel a couple times and needed a touchup or two, but nothing serious. (Editor's Cat: ,.njmm.,njm,.mhjjuholkkndjklnlnujlsnfdvnlsfvnnvnjvsnklnlllnlllnlnnllnlnnlnlllnl)

It had a great strong taste, starting with some spicy flavor, along with a charred earthy taste that wasn't unpleasant (even though charred earth sounds nasty), and then progressed to a coffee flavor. The end was sweeter, maybe a little chocolate to it. I smoked this down to the nub, and will definitely get some more - especially at around $40 per box. (Editor: GET AWAY FROM THAT!)

(Editor's Cat: xxa nbm.)


Mayorga Robusto Maduro
Size: Robusto (5.5" x 52 ring)
Taste: Wild
Draw: The best I've had
Burn: Decent, needed a few touchups
Flavors: Charred, earthy flavor becomes coffee and chocolate.
Overall Rating:
May become my weapon of choice.

Fonseca (Dominican) 5-50

I had a long week, so I was looking forward to a cigar-riffic weekend, and it delivered. I won't say why I had such a long week, but I will give you a hint. It involved a rodeo clown, my half-sister's inheritance, and a very confused Mexican politician.

We have been having a nice warm spell here in NC, and it seems like every night of the weekend is a great one for a cigar. So it was time to grab a glass of Bulleit bourbon and a book, and hit the porch.

I have been going through my CI sampler one by one, and I am down to the last couple. So I decided to grab the Fonseca 5-50. To be honest, I wasn't expecting a ton from this cigar, as it just radiated an air of blandness. Well, that initial impression was perfectly correct.

This thing did absolutely NOTHING for me. I couldn't put a name to the taste, other than tobacco. It was boring boring boring, the draw was mediocre, and I put it out halfway through. This cigar is like making out with an ugly girl - it's better than nothing, but you won't feel good about it.

The only big plus I can give this cigar is that it didn't taste bad. It just tasted like air. A pretty weak showing. Take THAT, Fonseca company!

Fonseca (DR) 5-50
Size: Toro (5" x 50 ring)
Taste: Mild
Draw: A little tight
Burn: Decent
Flavors: Nothing.
Overall Rating:
CUT. IT. OUT.

Cohiba (Dominican) Churchill

Today's bit of wisdom: If someone offers you a great deal on used pizza, walk away. That is all.

I met Curt for a Manhattan (Makers) and a couple cigars at a different cigar bar than the one we normally frequent. This one was called Amra's, and it was a really nice place. Super chill, with big leather couches and little separated areas around a huge bar.

Since it was 65+ degrees out, we sat on the patio, which was great. Unfortunately, we then got harassed by several homeless guys who were wandering down the street. I think its impossible to smoke a churchill-sized cigar and have someone believe that you don't have any money to give them. But on the plus side, the waiter kindly but firmly told all the guys to get the hell out, which was cool. (Editor: Nick enjoys his men kind but firm...) Anyhow, onto the Cohiba.

I recieved this cigar as a gift from a fellow cigar smoker on a message board that I post on. It was an amazingly generous gift, and I have been looking forward to this cigar for a while. He said he had aged it over a year, and then it aged in my humi for 5+ months, so I was expecting big things. (Editor: Nick's wife did not have the same expectations about him)



However, this is a difficult cigar for me to review. I really enjoyed the smoke thoroughly, but then again it was a gift. If I had paid the ridiculous price for this cigar ($15+), I would not be happy. Its flavors were all smooth and pleasant, but there were no flavors that really jumped and made you say "wow". I would probably best describe it as a cedar taste, maybe a little nutty flavor. It didn't change much over the course of the smoke, which is too bad, since that is the main appeal of a churchill to me.

So I am going to have to give this cigar a low rating, because I wouldn't buy it again. However, as a freebie it was amazing. (Editor: Your Mom was similarly reviewed) So keep that in mind as I tell this DR Cohiba that I've had the time of my life. (Editor: Did you paste Patrick Swayze's face on a cigar again?)

Cohiba (DR) Churchill
Size: Churchill (7" x 49 ring)
Taste: Medium-Mild
Draw: Good
Burn: Even and consistent
Flavors: Cedar with a little nut
Overall Rating:
Bad deal for the money but great smooth flavors make this a cigar for the Road House.

Camacho Coyolar Puro

This was supposed to be my birthday cigar back in January - First I couldn't find my cutter, then the cork broke in my favorite Scotch... then I couldn't find the lighter I'd had moments before... (Editor: Next time, take the hint. End it all.)

Suffice to say, I put this one away, and wrote off the evening, and went to bed.

This weekend, some nice mild weather inticed me to bring it back out.

I've heard gleaming reviews of the Coyolar Puros - it's an oft reccomended stick, and pretty highly rated across the board... so I was expecting a treat.

The cigar itself wasn't bad, but I think (hope) I got a lemon. Draw was good, but despite a perfect light, the burn turned out terrible in the end. I might have been able to salvage it with a few touch ups, but I was out on a walk and didn't really feel like heading back to the house for the lighter. (Editor: By "walk", of course, you mean, "cruising the boulevard for ladyboys." I assume.)

Incase anyone has ever wondered, this is a bad burn:




The extreme bias on the burn is what really makes me think (again, hope) this was a lemon - issues with half of the filler in the cigar could lead to something like this.

Truth be told, it wasn't a bad smoke, just a little disappointing. I came in with high hopes, and was let down somewhat.

First, for what's touted as one of the champs of full bodied cigars, I found it a little lacking. It was flavorful at first - a good punch of spice and pepper, but it quickly mellowed out into woody tones and just kind've seemed content to stay there. (Editor: There is a giant herd of deer across the road from me. Maybe 11 or 12. That's pretty cool. I wonder if- oh, sorry. Your mind-numbing prose caused me to lose focus. Please, continue.)

The price was in the $5-6 range, so it wasn't a huge investment - I hope to try one again some time and confirm that this was just an isolated incident. Until such a time, I'm going to have to give this sucker a 4.


And for now, you CAN put Baby in a corner.*


* - Yes, I made a Dirty Dancing reference. No, I'm not proud of it.

(Editor: :-( )
Camacho Coyolar Puro
Size: Torpedo (6" x 54 ring)
Taste: Wild (Allegedly)
Draw: Good
Burn: TERRIBLE
Flavors: Peppery, Mellows in the middle.
Overall Rating:

Tierra Del Sol (Maduro)

So... as I mentioned previously, it's damned cold in Ohio right now. Real cold. (Editor: Isn't that like saying it's wet in the sea?)

So when the opportunity arose to travel to a luxurious hotel in Charlotte (with a nice balcony) I lept at the chance. Ok, it wasn’t really an opportunity, but a work obligation, and it wasn’t luxurious, it was a regular old business class hotel, which happened to have a balcony.

The reality is that I packed these, got to Charlotte, and then proceeded to work several 17 hour days, all of which started at 4 or 5 am. (Editor: Hold on, I need a minute to dry my eyes from all the tears I am shedding for you.) By the time sunday night rolled around, I decided to take time to enjoy. It was cool, mid-40’s by the time I had this – with a pretty good wind whipping around. Thankfully that helped keep the cigar smoke from drifting back into the room, but made for some pretty terrible lighting conditions (matches only, thank you, TSA).

I had my v-cutter with me, so I figured I’d give it a shot – the torpedo made for a perfect cut, but also made for an absolutely horrible draw – I went with a regular cut and didn’t look back. (Editor: It's a good thing, too. Looking back would only show you the series of embarassing failures that have brought your life to the point it is at now.)
It was spicier than I expected at first – very peppery on the nose, but part of that could have been attributed to lighting the cigar with matches in the middle of a windstorm – pretty inconsistent, and I had to overheat a bit to get her going.

Quickly it mellowed out, to what I can only describe as an earthy, peaty charcoal. I really wish I had been able to pair this with an Islay Scotch, instead it was crappy hotel coffee, but it actually wasn’t bad – a fuller-bodied coffee would be perfectly at home with this cigar.

The only oddity I found was that it wound up being a lot milder than I expected for a Maduro – it had its moments, but overall it was right in the mild-to-medium range.

I picked up a bundle of these awhile back, kept a few in wrapper for travel, while unwrapping the rest – given my experience with this cigar, I’m really eager to see what these develop into with some aging and mellowing. (Editor: Just as you will find that as your friends age and mellow, they only hate you more and more.)

So far, I’m happy with the purchase, so happy, in fact, I’m giving it a Hogg.

Tierra Del Sol (Maduro)
Size: Torpedo Maduro (6.1" x 50 ring)
Taste: Medium-Mild
Draw: Excellent (with Guillotine Cut)
Burn: Ok (with poor lighting conditions)
Flavors: "Peppery, Earthy Charcoal"
Overall Rating: "Hoggin' it up and havin' a good time!"

Perdomo Cabinet Series "La Tradicion" Maduro "P"

Well, this past weekend was the SuperBowl, and we all know how that turned out. Four people dead, one injured cat, and a whole lot of angry pool owners. No, wait, that was my weekend 2 weeks ago.
Anyhow, it's time for another review. This time it's the longest cigar name in the world, the Perdomo Cabinet Series "La Tradicion" Maduro Extra-Special Thoroughbred Junta Magnifico Part II: First Blood. Or something like that.

This cigar came as part of that great CI sampler I got a while back, and it caught my eye because of its strange shape and the red cellophane it came in.



I saved it for a special ocassion, and the SuperBowl and 70-degree weather seemed like the perfect time. And it was. Several glasses of Maker's Mark helped it go down smooth, and sitting next to the grill smelling the bbq wings and burgers that were cooking was just ideal. And that's when the bullets started flying. No, wait, I was still thinking of the wrong weekend.

This was a fantastic smoke. Strong but not harsh, with really nice notes of chocolate, maybe some cedar and a really smooth, earthy tobacco flavor. I smoked it down to the end and loved every second. I will definitely get this one again. This is also my first experience with a Perdomo stick, and I am interested in trying more. This one definitely gets my Smokey.

Oh, and if you hear any rumors about strange things that went on in my neighborhood two weeks ago, ignore them.

Perdomo Cabinet Series "La Tradicion" Maduro "P"
Size: Perfecto (5.5" x 55 ring)
Taste: Wild
Draw: Great
Burn: Even and consistent
Flavors: Cocoa, Pepper, earthy tobacco
Overall Rating:
MUSTACHE FEELING

601 Blue Label Maduro

The Superbowl was last Sunday and what a great day to cook out and smoke a cigar. In North Carolina the weather was gorgeous and I almost didn't want to come inside to watch the superbowl. (Editor: The truth, dear readers, is that everyone inside didn't want him to come inside.)

I have been meaning to try a 601 for some time. I went to the cigar store to get a 601 oscuro but they did not have any so I picked up this one. It was a bit pricey - I paid about 8 or 9 american dollars for it or about 82,000 Indonesia Rupiahs. I actually paid in american dollars because I did not have a $82,000 Rupiah bill on me. I'm pretty sure the cigar shop would not have had a problem with me paying in Rupiahs .

On to the cigar I say. This was a gorgeous looking cigar. I liked the feel of the box-pressed in my hand. This cigar was pretty that is for sure. The draw was a little tight at first but loosened very quickly. The burn was even and consistent. The ash stayed on this baby for at least half of the cigar. The taste was great. Nut, cocoa and mocha are what I remember from tasting this one. (Editor: let it be known that Curt likes dark nuts) The flavor was fantastic. I smoked it down until my fingers burned. I think I even liked the final third of this cigar the best. This may be due to the flavors really coming out or the fact that I was on my third glass of whiskey. (Editor: Is that also your excuse for calling "Glitter" the greatest movie of this or any other century?) This was a great medium to full bodied cigar without any harshness and loads of great flavor. I am considering buying a box of these but I think I'd like to try the oscuro first. I would recommend this cigar to anyone that likes maduros.

601 Blue Labal Maduro by Don Pepin Garcia
Size: Toro (6.25" x 52 ring)
Taste: Medium
Draw: Good - a little tight but at first but loosened up quickly
Burn: Even and consistent throughout
Flavors: Roasted Nut and smooth Cocoa makes this cigar a true pleasure.
Overall Rating:

A quick drink and cigar pairing note...

I have found that a good brandy (not one of my usual drinks) goes surprisingly well with the Castle Hall by Gurkha that I reviewed here.

The sweetness of the brandy brings out the sweet nut flavor that makes the Castle Hall so enjoyable.

So try that out next time you are on the run from the law, you scofflaw you.

Now run, I see John Law bearing down. RUN!

Drew Estate: Acid Wafe

Alright, it seems I've been getting some crap lately for a lack of reviews on my part. Some of us don't live in Tobacco Country USA, free from smoking bans, and home of mild winters. Some of us can't smoke in bars, won't smoke in their houses, and are dealing with -10*F temperatures. (Editor: could be. Or you could be the world's biggest sissy. Readers?)

That being said, wintertime up north is a perfect time for quick smokes - and presented here is my all time favorite quickie, (Editor: ......) most recently enjoyed just this past weekend.

The Acid Wafe by Drew Estate is one metric assload of flavor in a tiny package - like the rest of the ACID line, the tobacco used in creating this cigar is aroma cured for months, infusing them with flavors and aromatics you won't find in other lines. Aromatic cigars are kind've a mixed bag, people love them or the hate them. A few years ago this sort of cigar would have probably made me retch - now I can't get enough of them.

This box pressed cigar is about 3.5 or 4" long (obligatory joke of choice here) (Editor: oh god...so many choices...so little time...damn, freezing up!), and is only about a centimeter thick - this allows for a pretty quick burn, making it a quick smoke - but unlike normal cigarillos, this one is still a half inch wide, giving alot more room for flavors and blends to be worked in.

The cigar itself? Full bodied - but in a smooth way. It's potent, but it's also sweet on your lips. I really can't describe this one, it's very different, very floral, very herbal, it's everything but mild, but not in a harsh way. Buy one, or five. If you don't like it, I'll gladly take the rest off your hands.

And PS, down south, I've seen these 5 to a hardpack, like regular cigarettes - I'd recommend this route, as these, and other strong aromatic cigars really aren't the sort of thing you should store with your others - mild cigars can mingle with mild cigars - but I really doubt these guys would play well with others... (Editor: PS, down south, you know this guy ALWAYS looks for a hardpack.)

At around 3 bucks a stick, it's a little pricy for a 15 minute smoke - but these are worth every penny. Would I buy again? I have, and will continue to do so... and because that's our main criteria, I'm proud to give this one our very first Bandit.


Acid Wafe (Drew Estate)
Size: Wafe (NA)
Taste: Mildly-Wild (Yowza)
Draw: Excellent
Burn: Excellent
Flavors: Youbetcha!
Overall Rating:

Gurkha Connecticut Reserve Robusto #4

Well it's Tuesday, and you know what that means. Time for your weekly beating. No, wait, I was thinking of what I will tell my children in the future. DON'T JUDGE ME!

I had two cigars over the past weekend, and I will hopefully have the review of the other one pretty soon. First, though, I will tell you a tale. A tale of a cigar. A Gurkha cigar. A cigar who wanted to get home to his family. Well, too bad. He got burned instead.

I got this Gurkha Connecticut Reserve Robusto (quite a mouthful to say) in a CI Sampler, and since I enjoy Gurkha's Castle Hall line so much, I was really looking forward to this one. Sadly, it didn't do much for me.

My new cutter is much better, so I had a nice cut and light, and the draw was great off the bat. It started with a pretty bland tobacco smoke flavor, not much else in there. Unfortunately it seemed to just continue that way throughout. On the plus side, the smoke was really smooth and had very little in the way of harshness.

That brings to mind a thought: Why does every reviewer insist on calling a cigar's smoke "creamy"? That adjective is worthless in regards to smoke. It's like calling oxygen "supple". It's nonsense. (Lawson: It's true, only an idiot would refer to smoke as creamy.) (Nick H: Well damn me. And damn YOU, Lawson. NEVER POINT OUT MY CONTRADICTIONS!)

Anyhow, I got more and more disappointed with this one as time went on. I ended up stubbing it out a little early because I was bored. It wasn't objectionable, but it also wasn't good. It wasn't much of anything, just kinda bland and smokey. However, the good construction, solid draw, even burn and smooth flavor keep this from failing. If someone gave me another I would take it, but I won't seek this one out again.

Gurkha Connecticut Reserve Robusto #4
Size: 6" x 50 ring
Taste: Mild
Draw: Good
Burn: Even
Flavors: Not much, sadly.
Overall Rating:
The smoothness keeps it from failing, but the bland taste gets a Jim Kirk double-punch.

Punch Rare Corojo Crystal

I had heard great things about this cigar so I had high hopes. I believe it got a 90 rating from Cigar Aficionado. (Editor: A magazine that is entirely funded by cigar company ad revenues rated a cigar highly? No way!)

The construction of this cigar was great. It was one of the most solid cigars I've ever smoked. It burned completely even throughout and the draw was great. There was lots and lots of smoke. (Editor: Smoke? From a cigar? Amazing. About as amazing as your ability to coordinate motor function long enough to push out this substandard write up.)

This cigar had an over powering pepper flavor from the moment I lit it up to the last puff. The taste didn't change at all. Pretty consistent throughout. Now, I looked at some other reviews and they mentioned flavors of chocolate and wood. I did not taste these in my pepper stick. I poured myself some whiskey to sip on while I smoked. The problem was I could not taste the whiskey but it did wash some of the pepper flavor out of mouth. I like full flavored cigars but.... I'm not sure what was up this thing. (Editor: Are you sure it isn't just that your failings in life happen to taste like pepper?)

Now, I am pretty sure the cigar I smoked was not the same one that got a 90 ranking. I did find some other people with very similar reviews as mine. So.... there is a bad evil peppery batch of these floating about or my palate did not enjoy this cigar.

It did give me a nice buzz though. I think I could have drank any awful liquor I wanted with this one because there was no way to taste anything else.

All that being said I will probably try this cigar again later because I'm curious if it was me or the cigar. (Editor: I think, regardless of cigar quality, we can always safely say that it's you, Curt. It's always you.)


Punch Rare Corojo Crystal
Size: Torpedo (5.5 x 54)
Taste: Medium-Full
Draw: Great
Burn: Perfectly Even throughout
Flavors: Strong Pepper from start to finish.
Overall Rating: Pepper ray gun

Macanudo Maduro Hampton Court

While Nick was smoking his AVO Maduro #3 I was smoking this Macanudo. Havana's is a great bar. Cushy chairs, leather couches, great bartenders, dark and classy. I wish this bar was off the back of my house. Attention Lawson: When you come to town we will go. (Editor: What about me, you ingrate?)

Anyway, on to the cigar. There are some in the cigar world that bad-mouth macanudos. Well, some of the criticism may be founded, but I equate it with film snobs who hate any movie that has financial success or was made in the last 30 years. That being said on to the cigar! (for real this time) (Editor: ..wha? Oh, sorry, I fell asleep while you took THIRTY SEVEN YEARS getting to the body of the review!)

This was a great looking cigar and had a sweet cocoa smell.

This cigar burned nicely. Perfectly even throughout.

The draw was a bit tight for my taste. Maybe a few more months in the humidor would fix this.

Now on to the flavor. I was a bit surprised by the taste of the cigar. The cigar started with medium body with hints of chocolate and coffee. In the second third of the cigar the flavors came to the forefront and I really enjoyed it. In the last third of the cigar the flavors were gradually drawn out as the harshness of the cigar took over. Don't get me wrong though, I smoked this baby down to the nub.

This cigar was not complex but extremely solid. This would be a great cigar to have on a Saturday morning with a cup of joe. (Editor: Or, in Curt's case, with a guy named Joe on a Saturday morning after yet another "mistake".)

This stick costs about $4 to $5. I would recommend this cigar for its solid taste and reliability.

Macanudo Maduro Hampton Court
Size: Corona (5.5" x 42 ring)
Taste: Medium
Draw: A little Tight
Burn: Even and consistent
Flavors: Coffee, Chocolate, Nutty
Overall Rating: Squeaked into the boss hogg, not unlike... well, you fill in the blank...

AVO Maduro No. 3

Back again for another review by the greatest person you know.*

This time it's for the biggest cigar I've ever had, an AVO Maduro #3. I got this one through a Cigar Secret Santa thing that I was a part of this year, and it barely fit in my humidor. It had a beautiful color and smelled delicious, though, so I was excited to try it. Therefore, when Curt and I decided to go down to the local cigar bar, Havana Deluxe, I brought the beast along for the ride.

I do have to admit it made me feel a little stupid to be smoking such a giant cigar in public. I needed a Cadillac with horns on the front, or a thrilling tale of my oil-baron days to accompany such a ridiculous looking stogie. But it cut cleanly and lit perfectly, so away I went.

The draw and burn on this bear was perfect. We were there for hours and it never burned unevenly or was the slightest bit plugged. The taste, though, is where it really shone. It started with a nice coffee flavor right off the bat, then gradually broadened into a sweeter taste, without the slightest hint of bitterness or acrid tang that some maduros have. The end picked up steam with more coffee and a little almondy taste.

But I have had cigars with those flavors before - what really set this one apart for me was how smooth it was. The flavors were strong without being harsh, and lingered without overpowering. I paired this with a Belgian-style witbier to good effect, the sweetness countered the coffee nicely.

I probably wouldn't get this size again, it's too big. But I will definitely buy this line of cigar again. And since that is the basis of our number-scale ("Would I buy this again?"), this one gets my Walken.

AVO Maduro No. 3
Size: Churchill (7.5" x 50 ring)
Taste: Medium
Draw: Great
Burn: Perfectly Even
Flavors: Coffee, chocolate, pepper, nut
Overall Rating:
The smooth taste and interesting, changing flavors give me a fever, and the only prescription is:


*P.S. That's me