El Rey del Mundo (Hon) Robusto Larga

You know what would be cool? *Pause for response* It would be cool if I could smoke cigars in my office. I think I would immediately be the guy in charge. That's probably why it's not allowed. (Editor: The thought of you in charge has permanently dented my brain.)

A smoked this cigar about a week or so ago at Amras. It was a nice place. The staff was really good but the drinks were a tad pricey. We sat outside and some homeless guy walking by asked us for money. He had some story that was more or less the same story you always hear from a homeless guy asking for money. The waiter was nice and stepped in and took care of it. (Editor: OK, now let's hear the true story. There was no homeless guy, was there? It was you. Smelling of urine and failure. AGAIN.)

The cigar I smoked was not homeless however. I gave it a good home until that day. (Did you see that transition? One of the best of all time. I'll probably go to the transition hall of fame) This El rey del mundo looked really nice. The first cigar I ever smoked that came wrapped in tissue paper. It was not a maduro but had a dark oily wrapper as if it were. The cigar felt solid like it was made out of wood. The burn was even and consistent.

The first third of the cigar was peppery with hints of chocolate and leather. Hints is not really the right word. There was more than just hints but the pepper was the strongest flavor. The second third of the cigar was great. All the flavors came together well. This cigar may not have been really complex but the flavors were stood out. Chocolate, coffee, pepper, and leather were all there in abundance. (Editor: Speaking of leather in abundance, can you stop sending me pictures from your "experimenting" in college? Please?) The last third of the cigar I remember being more peppery like first third but not overpowering.

One of the best things about this cigar is the price. $3 is all that it cost and I don't think you would be disappointed if you paid twice or three times that. We should have some bargain seal of approval. Best cigars under $5 or something. Anyway, gets a great bargain seal of approval. I think the seal should have a cigar taking money from it's mom's purse with a slash through it. OR a homeless guy smoking a $50 dollar cigar with a slash through it. (Tied in homeless people again) Ok, we'll discuss the seal design more later.

El Rey del Mundo (Hon)
Size: Robusto Larga (6" x 54 ring)
Taste: Medium
Draw: Good
Burn: Even and consistent
Flavors: Chocolate, Pepper, Coffee, leather
Overall Rating: A smoke good enough to make you forget all about that perm you just got

Punch Rare Corojo Crystal

I had heard great things about this cigar so I had high hopes. I believe it got a 90 rating from Cigar Aficionado. (Editor: A magazine that is entirely funded by cigar company ad revenues rated a cigar highly? No way!)

The construction of this cigar was great. It was one of the most solid cigars I've ever smoked. It burned completely even throughout and the draw was great. There was lots and lots of smoke. (Editor: Smoke? From a cigar? Amazing. About as amazing as your ability to coordinate motor function long enough to push out this substandard write up.)

This cigar had an over powering pepper flavor from the moment I lit it up to the last puff. The taste didn't change at all. Pretty consistent throughout. Now, I looked at some other reviews and they mentioned flavors of chocolate and wood. I did not taste these in my pepper stick. I poured myself some whiskey to sip on while I smoked. The problem was I could not taste the whiskey but it did wash some of the pepper flavor out of mouth. I like full flavored cigars but.... I'm not sure what was up this thing. (Editor: Are you sure it isn't just that your failings in life happen to taste like pepper?)

Now, I am pretty sure the cigar I smoked was not the same one that got a 90 ranking. I did find some other people with very similar reviews as mine. So.... there is a bad evil peppery batch of these floating about or my palate did not enjoy this cigar.

It did give me a nice buzz though. I think I could have drank any awful liquor I wanted with this one because there was no way to taste anything else.

All that being said I will probably try this cigar again later because I'm curious if it was me or the cigar. (Editor: I think, regardless of cigar quality, we can always safely say that it's you, Curt. It's always you.)


Punch Rare Corojo Crystal
Size: Torpedo (5.5 x 54)
Taste: Medium-Full
Draw: Great
Burn: Perfectly Even throughout
Flavors: Strong Pepper from start to finish.
Overall Rating: Pepper ray gun