Fuente Hemingway Best Seller

I have heard a lot of good things about the Hemingway line, but I have never tried one. Until now! Well, until a few days ago.

I actually picked this little guy up in Arizona, where their tobacco taxes are apparently much cheaper. I got a collection of nice sticks there for a much lower price than I could find here in the east.

Anyhow, the Best Seller is a slightly larger version of the popular Short Story, which I had not had before either (I also bought one of those, but I found it very similar to this cigar, so I won't review that separately).

It has a nice perfecto shape which I find creates an even burn, but some people have trouble with it. It is deceptive in its size, since it burns as long as a much bigger cigar. I enjoyed a nice long book-reading evening on the porch with this little guy.

I paired it with a nice Eagle Rare SB bourbon that had a nice bite to it, and they went together pretty well. The cigar tended towards a nice clean tobacco flavor, with some nuts and cedar. It kinda tasted the way a humidor smells. And since I like that smell, it was all good with me.

I didn't notice any distinct taste changes, and the flavor was a bit low-key for me. But it was definitely a solid cigar. So for having a decent flavor, good burn and nice construction, I give it points. The slightly too-high price, the one-note flavor profile, and slightly bland taste knock it down a couple pegs.

In general, I give it a Belvedere.

Fuente Hemingway Best Seller
Size: Perfecto (5" x 55 ring)
Taste: Medium-Mild
Draw: Good
Burn: Even and consistent
Flavors: Cedar and nut, tasty tobacco flavor
Overall Rating:
Fat in the middle like Mr. Belvedere.

Montecristo Platinum Toro

It was a cold night in Louisville. I stepped outside to enjoy a well touted Montecristo Platinum Toro, wondering to myself "Self, I wonder if there's anything to this cigar, or if it's merely the sort of thing that posers pick up because of a certain combination of brand name, and flashy label." (Editor: "Self, review applications more thoroughly in the future, before just hiring any moron with a typing hand who walks through the door. Sincerely, Joe Editor (you)" )

Little did I know that in less than 24 hours, I'd be dead.

Ok, not dead, just stranded in Kentucky with a bad alternator.

Which is pretty much the same thing. (Editor: You jerk, you got my hopes up.)

As I lit the cigar, I wasn't impressed with the draw. It was alright, but nothing to write home about.

In a completely obvious statement, the cigar began with strong tobbacco notes, but a third of the way in, what I could only describe as mulled spices began to take over. Prior to this point, I really wasn't feeling any love for this smoke. It was cold, and at this point (about 30 minutes in) I really considered dousing the thing and heading inside.

As I said, once I hit the 1/3 mark, savory tones began to creep in, with those same mulled spices. Halfway through, it took on an eggy savoriness (a strange description, I'm sure, but it was something that really struck me - it was something akin to well peppered scrambled eggs, and certainly wasn't unpleasant). (Editor: OK, so your cigar tasted like eggs, and you figured - "Hey, what the hell, let's keep it going"? Well let me give you a little hint. If it starts tasting like spoiled milk, just toss it. ) Two-thirds through, nutty tones begin to take over, and remained until the literal bitter end - as enjoying as the ride was, the cigar finished on a terribly bitter note before I pitched it.

Overall I enjoyed the smoke - it was far more complex than I expected, and when it really took off, the flavors and warmth were enough to keep me outside in the cold long enough to see it to the end.

There were some drawbacks - a boring first first third, a very bitter end, and less than ideal draw hold this cigar back from an 8, and firmly plant it as a 7.


Montecristo Platinum Toro
Size: Toro (6" x 50 ring)
Taste: Medium
Draw: Ok
Burn: Fairly Even, minor touchup required.
Flavors: Complex, mulled spices, savory and nutty tones.
Overall Rating:

El Rey del Mundo (Hon) Robusto Larga

You know what would be cool? *Pause for response* It would be cool if I could smoke cigars in my office. I think I would immediately be the guy in charge. That's probably why it's not allowed. (Editor: The thought of you in charge has permanently dented my brain.)

A smoked this cigar about a week or so ago at Amras. It was a nice place. The staff was really good but the drinks were a tad pricey. We sat outside and some homeless guy walking by asked us for money. He had some story that was more or less the same story you always hear from a homeless guy asking for money. The waiter was nice and stepped in and took care of it. (Editor: OK, now let's hear the true story. There was no homeless guy, was there? It was you. Smelling of urine and failure. AGAIN.)

The cigar I smoked was not homeless however. I gave it a good home until that day. (Did you see that transition? One of the best of all time. I'll probably go to the transition hall of fame) This El rey del mundo looked really nice. The first cigar I ever smoked that came wrapped in tissue paper. It was not a maduro but had a dark oily wrapper as if it were. The cigar felt solid like it was made out of wood. The burn was even and consistent.

The first third of the cigar was peppery with hints of chocolate and leather. Hints is not really the right word. There was more than just hints but the pepper was the strongest flavor. The second third of the cigar was great. All the flavors came together well. This cigar may not have been really complex but the flavors were stood out. Chocolate, coffee, pepper, and leather were all there in abundance. (Editor: Speaking of leather in abundance, can you stop sending me pictures from your "experimenting" in college? Please?) The last third of the cigar I remember being more peppery like first third but not overpowering.

One of the best things about this cigar is the price. $3 is all that it cost and I don't think you would be disappointed if you paid twice or three times that. We should have some bargain seal of approval. Best cigars under $5 or something. Anyway, gets a great bargain seal of approval. I think the seal should have a cigar taking money from it's mom's purse with a slash through it. OR a homeless guy smoking a $50 dollar cigar with a slash through it. (Tied in homeless people again) Ok, we'll discuss the seal design more later.

El Rey del Mundo (Hon)
Size: Robusto Larga (6" x 54 ring)
Taste: Medium
Draw: Good
Burn: Even and consistent
Flavors: Chocolate, Pepper, Coffee, leather
Overall Rating: A smoke good enough to make you forget all about that perm you just got

Cohiba (Dominican) Churchill

Today's bit of wisdom: If someone offers you a great deal on used pizza, walk away. That is all.

I met Curt for a Manhattan (Makers) and a couple cigars at a different cigar bar than the one we normally frequent. This one was called Amra's, and it was a really nice place. Super chill, with big leather couches and little separated areas around a huge bar.

Since it was 65+ degrees out, we sat on the patio, which was great. Unfortunately, we then got harassed by several homeless guys who were wandering down the street. I think its impossible to smoke a churchill-sized cigar and have someone believe that you don't have any money to give them. But on the plus side, the waiter kindly but firmly told all the guys to get the hell out, which was cool. (Editor: Nick enjoys his men kind but firm...) Anyhow, onto the Cohiba.

I recieved this cigar as a gift from a fellow cigar smoker on a message board that I post on. It was an amazingly generous gift, and I have been looking forward to this cigar for a while. He said he had aged it over a year, and then it aged in my humi for 5+ months, so I was expecting big things. (Editor: Nick's wife did not have the same expectations about him)



However, this is a difficult cigar for me to review. I really enjoyed the smoke thoroughly, but then again it was a gift. If I had paid the ridiculous price for this cigar ($15+), I would not be happy. Its flavors were all smooth and pleasant, but there were no flavors that really jumped and made you say "wow". I would probably best describe it as a cedar taste, maybe a little nutty flavor. It didn't change much over the course of the smoke, which is too bad, since that is the main appeal of a churchill to me.

So I am going to have to give this cigar a low rating, because I wouldn't buy it again. However, as a freebie it was amazing. (Editor: Your Mom was similarly reviewed) So keep that in mind as I tell this DR Cohiba that I've had the time of my life. (Editor: Did you paste Patrick Swayze's face on a cigar again?)

Cohiba (DR) Churchill
Size: Churchill (7" x 49 ring)
Taste: Medium-Mild
Draw: Good
Burn: Even and consistent
Flavors: Cedar with a little nut
Overall Rating:
Bad deal for the money but great smooth flavors make this a cigar for the Road House.

AVO Maduro No. 3

Back again for another review by the greatest person you know.*

This time it's for the biggest cigar I've ever had, an AVO Maduro #3. I got this one through a Cigar Secret Santa thing that I was a part of this year, and it barely fit in my humidor. It had a beautiful color and smelled delicious, though, so I was excited to try it. Therefore, when Curt and I decided to go down to the local cigar bar, Havana Deluxe, I brought the beast along for the ride.

I do have to admit it made me feel a little stupid to be smoking such a giant cigar in public. I needed a Cadillac with horns on the front, or a thrilling tale of my oil-baron days to accompany such a ridiculous looking stogie. But it cut cleanly and lit perfectly, so away I went.

The draw and burn on this bear was perfect. We were there for hours and it never burned unevenly or was the slightest bit plugged. The taste, though, is where it really shone. It started with a nice coffee flavor right off the bat, then gradually broadened into a sweeter taste, without the slightest hint of bitterness or acrid tang that some maduros have. The end picked up steam with more coffee and a little almondy taste.

But I have had cigars with those flavors before - what really set this one apart for me was how smooth it was. The flavors were strong without being harsh, and lingered without overpowering. I paired this with a Belgian-style witbier to good effect, the sweetness countered the coffee nicely.

I probably wouldn't get this size again, it's too big. But I will definitely buy this line of cigar again. And since that is the basis of our number-scale ("Would I buy this again?"), this one gets my Walken.

AVO Maduro No. 3
Size: Churchill (7.5" x 50 ring)
Taste: Medium
Draw: Great
Burn: Perfectly Even
Flavors: Coffee, chocolate, pepper, nut
Overall Rating:
The smooth taste and interesting, changing flavors give me a fever, and the only prescription is:


*P.S. That's me

5 Vegas Gold churchill

Well here is the first official review since the institution of our formalized cigar rating system. Are you excited?
Well, let's check. Have you urinated in your pants yet? Then you're not excited enough! Get to it!

Anyhow, on to the review. Recently I bought an 8-cigar sampler from Cigars International, and it contained some cool stuff. One of the things I had wanted to try for a while was a 5 Vegas Gold, since they are usually pretty cheap and I had heard some good things about this as a budget cigar.

This is probably a good time to explain my thoughts on price. I don't smoke a ton of cigars, maybe one or two a week, max. So I don't feel like I need to be stingy on my cigars. I would rather buy a good, more expensive cigar, than 10 cheap ones. On the other hand, I feel that after a certain point, there is no amount of delicious flavor that can justify a giant price tag. So I fall into a medium category where I am willing to pay more for a good cigar, but once the price goes too high, I don't feel it could be worth it.

OK, Back to the 5 Vegas Gold. In appearance, it looks a lot like that Castle Hall I reviewed a few times back. Churchill-sized, light wrapper tending towards yellowish gold.

It cut cleanly, which is a miracle considering the 100% crap cutter I use, and lit up evenly. I just bought a torch lighter from a local department store, and it is totally worth the money. At first I wasn't feeling this cigar, it felt bland. However, once it hit the sweet spot I definitely enjoyed it. It is stronger than it looks, with a much spicier taste than the light wrapper would indicate. It falls into the Medium category for me, just over the line from Mild. It had a nice but not overpowering tang to it, which hit me on the sides of the tongue.

It had a slight nut taste, but didn't have the strong nutty flavor that I like in the Castle Halls. However, it did have a very pleasant peppery taste to it that I liked. The draw was very respectable, plenty of smoke without a lot of effort. I didn't smoke this one down to the nub because it was just too long, but if I had been in a group hanging out and chatting I don't think I would have tired of it. I paired it with a small glass of Evan Williams Single Barrel, which I find to be a good cigar bourbon.

Overall, I think this was a solid smoke, especially for the price of around $3 a stick. Here's the roundup:

5 Vegas Gold
Size: Churchill (7" x 50 ring)
Taste: Medium-Mild
Draw: Good
Burn: Even and consistent
Flavors: Slight nut with a strong pepper near the end.
Overall Rating: A strong Belvedere.

Diamond Crown Pyramid No. 7, Maduro

First review, I guess I'll make this one count, at least my wallet will think so, given this is an $18.00 stick.

I'll start with the technical details - this really is a gorgeous cigar - the wrapper is a beautiful maduro, and while I usually couldn't care less about band art, the band really does pair up well with the deep maduro wrapper. It has a certain heft to it that really makes it feel like a solid smoke.

Construction is excellent - all of the DC's I've seen run large ring gauges, allowing for some pretty impressive multi-leaf blends, and this one was no exception. The construction quality carried through to the ash as well - which held up admirably.

Burn was a little uneven, but I chalk part of that up to my lighting - I was using a sub-optimal lighter at the time, letting the cigar rest for a bit on an incline evened things up though, so, again, I think this was a case of operator error rather than flawed construction.

Draw was great, especially for a torpedo, sorry, pyramid, which can have issues if the overall construction isn't up to par.

Now on to the real details; From a flavor profile perspective, this was a much stronger cigar than I expected - I've seen these classified from mild to medium - I'd put it in the medium category myself, but much more toward the strong/full end of the range. Again, it's strength took me by surprise - it creeps up on you.

At first puff, the cigar was really mild, some cedar notes, but nothing to really write home about. A few moments in, however, it really opened up. Floral notes really were the signature here - even the smoke put off by this stick carries with it some floral overtones. A pleasant surprise for me, as this was one of the few instances I actually smoked in the house (albeit with windows open and a good deal of ventilation) due to some nasty rainstorms in the region. As pleasant as it was, I still underestimated the potency of this cigar - it wasn't until I stood up to fetch some water, and the subsequent "Cigar Buzz" hit me that I realized what a real gem this is.

I paired this with some recently acquired a bottle of Distillers Choice Laphroaig - in hindsight, this wasn't a great pairing. I underestimated the floral overtones of the cigar, and wound up saving most of the scotch for later. An ideal pairing, in my mind, would be a non-Islay, lighter scotch. Budget favorite (i.e. my college favorite) Aberlour would be a good choice for it's floral/fruity notes, or even Glenlivet/Glenkinchie. If you are putting out enough for a nice cigar, it's worth having a good drink pairing, after all.

$18.00 might be a little steep for a cigar, but disregarding the price, this one's a solid Hoff*.

(* - Ratings retroactively added)

Diamond Crown Pyramid No. 7, Maduro
Size: Pyramid (Torpedo) (6.7" x 54 ring)
Taste: Medium (Medium-Full)
Draw: Good
Burn: Even, after correction.
Flavors: Cedar, Floral
Overall Rating: