Montecristo Platinum Toro

It was a cold night in Louisville. I stepped outside to enjoy a well touted Montecristo Platinum Toro, wondering to myself "Self, I wonder if there's anything to this cigar, or if it's merely the sort of thing that posers pick up because of a certain combination of brand name, and flashy label." (Editor: "Self, review applications more thoroughly in the future, before just hiring any moron with a typing hand who walks through the door. Sincerely, Joe Editor (you)" )

Little did I know that in less than 24 hours, I'd be dead.

Ok, not dead, just stranded in Kentucky with a bad alternator.

Which is pretty much the same thing. (Editor: You jerk, you got my hopes up.)

As I lit the cigar, I wasn't impressed with the draw. It was alright, but nothing to write home about.

In a completely obvious statement, the cigar began with strong tobbacco notes, but a third of the way in, what I could only describe as mulled spices began to take over. Prior to this point, I really wasn't feeling any love for this smoke. It was cold, and at this point (about 30 minutes in) I really considered dousing the thing and heading inside.

As I said, once I hit the 1/3 mark, savory tones began to creep in, with those same mulled spices. Halfway through, it took on an eggy savoriness (a strange description, I'm sure, but it was something that really struck me - it was something akin to well peppered scrambled eggs, and certainly wasn't unpleasant). (Editor: OK, so your cigar tasted like eggs, and you figured - "Hey, what the hell, let's keep it going"? Well let me give you a little hint. If it starts tasting like spoiled milk, just toss it. ) Two-thirds through, nutty tones begin to take over, and remained until the literal bitter end - as enjoying as the ride was, the cigar finished on a terribly bitter note before I pitched it.

Overall I enjoyed the smoke - it was far more complex than I expected, and when it really took off, the flavors and warmth were enough to keep me outside in the cold long enough to see it to the end.

There were some drawbacks - a boring first first third, a very bitter end, and less than ideal draw hold this cigar back from an 8, and firmly plant it as a 7.


Montecristo Platinum Toro
Size: Toro (6" x 50 ring)
Taste: Medium
Draw: Ok
Burn: Fairly Even, minor touchup required.
Flavors: Complex, mulled spices, savory and nutty tones.
Overall Rating:

El Rey del Mundo (Hon) Robusto Larga

You know what would be cool? *Pause for response* It would be cool if I could smoke cigars in my office. I think I would immediately be the guy in charge. That's probably why it's not allowed. (Editor: The thought of you in charge has permanently dented my brain.)

A smoked this cigar about a week or so ago at Amras. It was a nice place. The staff was really good but the drinks were a tad pricey. We sat outside and some homeless guy walking by asked us for money. He had some story that was more or less the same story you always hear from a homeless guy asking for money. The waiter was nice and stepped in and took care of it. (Editor: OK, now let's hear the true story. There was no homeless guy, was there? It was you. Smelling of urine and failure. AGAIN.)

The cigar I smoked was not homeless however. I gave it a good home until that day. (Did you see that transition? One of the best of all time. I'll probably go to the transition hall of fame) This El rey del mundo looked really nice. The first cigar I ever smoked that came wrapped in tissue paper. It was not a maduro but had a dark oily wrapper as if it were. The cigar felt solid like it was made out of wood. The burn was even and consistent.

The first third of the cigar was peppery with hints of chocolate and leather. Hints is not really the right word. There was more than just hints but the pepper was the strongest flavor. The second third of the cigar was great. All the flavors came together well. This cigar may not have been really complex but the flavors were stood out. Chocolate, coffee, pepper, and leather were all there in abundance. (Editor: Speaking of leather in abundance, can you stop sending me pictures from your "experimenting" in college? Please?) The last third of the cigar I remember being more peppery like first third but not overpowering.

One of the best things about this cigar is the price. $3 is all that it cost and I don't think you would be disappointed if you paid twice or three times that. We should have some bargain seal of approval. Best cigars under $5 or something. Anyway, gets a great bargain seal of approval. I think the seal should have a cigar taking money from it's mom's purse with a slash through it. OR a homeless guy smoking a $50 dollar cigar with a slash through it. (Tied in homeless people again) Ok, we'll discuss the seal design more later.

El Rey del Mundo (Hon)
Size: Robusto Larga (6" x 54 ring)
Taste: Medium
Draw: Good
Burn: Even and consistent
Flavors: Chocolate, Pepper, Coffee, leather
Overall Rating: A smoke good enough to make you forget all about that perm you just got

Mayorga Robusto Maduro

This week's review is brought to you by the letters T, G, and the number 8. But that no-good deadbeat Number 6 totally owes us money. I'm gonna break your knees, you bastard! Hmm..does a number have knees? Maybe I'll break his loop at the bottom of the 6. (Editor: My god you waste a lot of my time.)

I was at the J&R Cigars store in Burlington, NC, last week, and picked up a couple singles. I got an AVO Maduro, a couple RyJ Reserve Maduros, and an Upmann Vintage Cameroon. As I was trying to choose another cigar, the woman at the counter recommended this Mayorga Robusto Maduro. I'll be honest, I thought she was trying to foist some crap off on me that didn't sell well. The cheapo-looking band only enhanced my suspicion. But she seemed decent enough, and I liked the color of the cigar itself, so I got it. Plus, it was really cheap (around $2.75). (Editor's Cat: awsdfadxccacaaaaacgfffffffffcuhuhnnmiopo,.-=0-09o09op)

Wow, what a fantastic smoke. The wrapper was a beautiful mottled black-brown, box-pressed, and smelled great. The draw was the best I have ever experienced, just huge clouds of smoke. The burn started to tunnel a couple times and needed a touchup or two, but nothing serious. (Editor's Cat: ,.njmm.,njm,.mhjjuholkkndjklnlnujlsnfdvnlsfvnnvnjvsnklnlllnlllnlnnllnlnnlnlllnl)

It had a great strong taste, starting with some spicy flavor, along with a charred earthy taste that wasn't unpleasant (even though charred earth sounds nasty), and then progressed to a coffee flavor. The end was sweeter, maybe a little chocolate to it. I smoked this down to the nub, and will definitely get some more - especially at around $40 per box. (Editor: GET AWAY FROM THAT!)

(Editor's Cat: xxa nbm.)


Mayorga Robusto Maduro
Size: Robusto (5.5" x 52 ring)
Taste: Wild
Draw: The best I've had
Burn: Decent, needed a few touchups
Flavors: Charred, earthy flavor becomes coffee and chocolate.
Overall Rating:
May become my weapon of choice.

Fonseca (Dominican) 5-50

I had a long week, so I was looking forward to a cigar-riffic weekend, and it delivered. I won't say why I had such a long week, but I will give you a hint. It involved a rodeo clown, my half-sister's inheritance, and a very confused Mexican politician.

We have been having a nice warm spell here in NC, and it seems like every night of the weekend is a great one for a cigar. So it was time to grab a glass of Bulleit bourbon and a book, and hit the porch.

I have been going through my CI sampler one by one, and I am down to the last couple. So I decided to grab the Fonseca 5-50. To be honest, I wasn't expecting a ton from this cigar, as it just radiated an air of blandness. Well, that initial impression was perfectly correct.

This thing did absolutely NOTHING for me. I couldn't put a name to the taste, other than tobacco. It was boring boring boring, the draw was mediocre, and I put it out halfway through. This cigar is like making out with an ugly girl - it's better than nothing, but you won't feel good about it.

The only big plus I can give this cigar is that it didn't taste bad. It just tasted like air. A pretty weak showing. Take THAT, Fonseca company!

Fonseca (DR) 5-50
Size: Toro (5" x 50 ring)
Taste: Mild
Draw: A little tight
Burn: Decent
Flavors: Nothing.
Overall Rating:
CUT. IT. OUT.

Cohiba (Dominican) Churchill

Today's bit of wisdom: If someone offers you a great deal on used pizza, walk away. That is all.

I met Curt for a Manhattan (Makers) and a couple cigars at a different cigar bar than the one we normally frequent. This one was called Amra's, and it was a really nice place. Super chill, with big leather couches and little separated areas around a huge bar.

Since it was 65+ degrees out, we sat on the patio, which was great. Unfortunately, we then got harassed by several homeless guys who were wandering down the street. I think its impossible to smoke a churchill-sized cigar and have someone believe that you don't have any money to give them. But on the plus side, the waiter kindly but firmly told all the guys to get the hell out, which was cool. (Editor: Nick enjoys his men kind but firm...) Anyhow, onto the Cohiba.

I recieved this cigar as a gift from a fellow cigar smoker on a message board that I post on. It was an amazingly generous gift, and I have been looking forward to this cigar for a while. He said he had aged it over a year, and then it aged in my humi for 5+ months, so I was expecting big things. (Editor: Nick's wife did not have the same expectations about him)



However, this is a difficult cigar for me to review. I really enjoyed the smoke thoroughly, but then again it was a gift. If I had paid the ridiculous price for this cigar ($15+), I would not be happy. Its flavors were all smooth and pleasant, but there were no flavors that really jumped and made you say "wow". I would probably best describe it as a cedar taste, maybe a little nutty flavor. It didn't change much over the course of the smoke, which is too bad, since that is the main appeal of a churchill to me.

So I am going to have to give this cigar a low rating, because I wouldn't buy it again. However, as a freebie it was amazing. (Editor: Your Mom was similarly reviewed) So keep that in mind as I tell this DR Cohiba that I've had the time of my life. (Editor: Did you paste Patrick Swayze's face on a cigar again?)

Cohiba (DR) Churchill
Size: Churchill (7" x 49 ring)
Taste: Medium-Mild
Draw: Good
Burn: Even and consistent
Flavors: Cedar with a little nut
Overall Rating:
Bad deal for the money but great smooth flavors make this a cigar for the Road House.

Camacho Coyolar Puro

This was supposed to be my birthday cigar back in January - First I couldn't find my cutter, then the cork broke in my favorite Scotch... then I couldn't find the lighter I'd had moments before... (Editor: Next time, take the hint. End it all.)

Suffice to say, I put this one away, and wrote off the evening, and went to bed.

This weekend, some nice mild weather inticed me to bring it back out.

I've heard gleaming reviews of the Coyolar Puros - it's an oft reccomended stick, and pretty highly rated across the board... so I was expecting a treat.

The cigar itself wasn't bad, but I think (hope) I got a lemon. Draw was good, but despite a perfect light, the burn turned out terrible in the end. I might have been able to salvage it with a few touch ups, but I was out on a walk and didn't really feel like heading back to the house for the lighter. (Editor: By "walk", of course, you mean, "cruising the boulevard for ladyboys." I assume.)

Incase anyone has ever wondered, this is a bad burn:




The extreme bias on the burn is what really makes me think (again, hope) this was a lemon - issues with half of the filler in the cigar could lead to something like this.

Truth be told, it wasn't a bad smoke, just a little disappointing. I came in with high hopes, and was let down somewhat.

First, for what's touted as one of the champs of full bodied cigars, I found it a little lacking. It was flavorful at first - a good punch of spice and pepper, but it quickly mellowed out into woody tones and just kind've seemed content to stay there. (Editor: There is a giant herd of deer across the road from me. Maybe 11 or 12. That's pretty cool. I wonder if- oh, sorry. Your mind-numbing prose caused me to lose focus. Please, continue.)

The price was in the $5-6 range, so it wasn't a huge investment - I hope to try one again some time and confirm that this was just an isolated incident. Until such a time, I'm going to have to give this sucker a 4.


And for now, you CAN put Baby in a corner.*


* - Yes, I made a Dirty Dancing reference. No, I'm not proud of it.

(Editor: :-( )
Camacho Coyolar Puro
Size: Torpedo (6" x 54 ring)
Taste: Wild (Allegedly)
Draw: Good
Burn: TERRIBLE
Flavors: Peppery, Mellows in the middle.
Overall Rating:

Tierra Del Sol (Maduro)

So... as I mentioned previously, it's damned cold in Ohio right now. Real cold. (Editor: Isn't that like saying it's wet in the sea?)

So when the opportunity arose to travel to a luxurious hotel in Charlotte (with a nice balcony) I lept at the chance. Ok, it wasn’t really an opportunity, but a work obligation, and it wasn’t luxurious, it was a regular old business class hotel, which happened to have a balcony.

The reality is that I packed these, got to Charlotte, and then proceeded to work several 17 hour days, all of which started at 4 or 5 am. (Editor: Hold on, I need a minute to dry my eyes from all the tears I am shedding for you.) By the time sunday night rolled around, I decided to take time to enjoy. It was cool, mid-40’s by the time I had this – with a pretty good wind whipping around. Thankfully that helped keep the cigar smoke from drifting back into the room, but made for some pretty terrible lighting conditions (matches only, thank you, TSA).

I had my v-cutter with me, so I figured I’d give it a shot – the torpedo made for a perfect cut, but also made for an absolutely horrible draw – I went with a regular cut and didn’t look back. (Editor: It's a good thing, too. Looking back would only show you the series of embarassing failures that have brought your life to the point it is at now.)
It was spicier than I expected at first – very peppery on the nose, but part of that could have been attributed to lighting the cigar with matches in the middle of a windstorm – pretty inconsistent, and I had to overheat a bit to get her going.

Quickly it mellowed out, to what I can only describe as an earthy, peaty charcoal. I really wish I had been able to pair this with an Islay Scotch, instead it was crappy hotel coffee, but it actually wasn’t bad – a fuller-bodied coffee would be perfectly at home with this cigar.

The only oddity I found was that it wound up being a lot milder than I expected for a Maduro – it had its moments, but overall it was right in the mild-to-medium range.

I picked up a bundle of these awhile back, kept a few in wrapper for travel, while unwrapping the rest – given my experience with this cigar, I’m really eager to see what these develop into with some aging and mellowing. (Editor: Just as you will find that as your friends age and mellow, they only hate you more and more.)

So far, I’m happy with the purchase, so happy, in fact, I’m giving it a Hogg.

Tierra Del Sol (Maduro)
Size: Torpedo Maduro (6.1" x 50 ring)
Taste: Medium-Mild
Draw: Excellent (with Guillotine Cut)
Burn: Ok (with poor lighting conditions)
Flavors: "Peppery, Earthy Charcoal"
Overall Rating: "Hoggin' it up and havin' a good time!"

Perdomo Cabinet Series "La Tradicion" Maduro "P"

Well, this past weekend was the SuperBowl, and we all know how that turned out. Four people dead, one injured cat, and a whole lot of angry pool owners. No, wait, that was my weekend 2 weeks ago.
Anyhow, it's time for another review. This time it's the longest cigar name in the world, the Perdomo Cabinet Series "La Tradicion" Maduro Extra-Special Thoroughbred Junta Magnifico Part II: First Blood. Or something like that.

This cigar came as part of that great CI sampler I got a while back, and it caught my eye because of its strange shape and the red cellophane it came in.



I saved it for a special ocassion, and the SuperBowl and 70-degree weather seemed like the perfect time. And it was. Several glasses of Maker's Mark helped it go down smooth, and sitting next to the grill smelling the bbq wings and burgers that were cooking was just ideal. And that's when the bullets started flying. No, wait, I was still thinking of the wrong weekend.

This was a fantastic smoke. Strong but not harsh, with really nice notes of chocolate, maybe some cedar and a really smooth, earthy tobacco flavor. I smoked it down to the end and loved every second. I will definitely get this one again. This is also my first experience with a Perdomo stick, and I am interested in trying more. This one definitely gets my Smokey.

Oh, and if you hear any rumors about strange things that went on in my neighborhood two weeks ago, ignore them.

Perdomo Cabinet Series "La Tradicion" Maduro "P"
Size: Perfecto (5.5" x 55 ring)
Taste: Wild
Draw: Great
Burn: Even and consistent
Flavors: Cocoa, Pepper, earthy tobacco
Overall Rating:
MUSTACHE FEELING

601 Blue Label Maduro

The Superbowl was last Sunday and what a great day to cook out and smoke a cigar. In North Carolina the weather was gorgeous and I almost didn't want to come inside to watch the superbowl. (Editor: The truth, dear readers, is that everyone inside didn't want him to come inside.)

I have been meaning to try a 601 for some time. I went to the cigar store to get a 601 oscuro but they did not have any so I picked up this one. It was a bit pricey - I paid about 8 or 9 american dollars for it or about 82,000 Indonesia Rupiahs. I actually paid in american dollars because I did not have a $82,000 Rupiah bill on me. I'm pretty sure the cigar shop would not have had a problem with me paying in Rupiahs .

On to the cigar I say. This was a gorgeous looking cigar. I liked the feel of the box-pressed in my hand. This cigar was pretty that is for sure. The draw was a little tight at first but loosened very quickly. The burn was even and consistent. The ash stayed on this baby for at least half of the cigar. The taste was great. Nut, cocoa and mocha are what I remember from tasting this one. (Editor: let it be known that Curt likes dark nuts) The flavor was fantastic. I smoked it down until my fingers burned. I think I even liked the final third of this cigar the best. This may be due to the flavors really coming out or the fact that I was on my third glass of whiskey. (Editor: Is that also your excuse for calling "Glitter" the greatest movie of this or any other century?) This was a great medium to full bodied cigar without any harshness and loads of great flavor. I am considering buying a box of these but I think I'd like to try the oscuro first. I would recommend this cigar to anyone that likes maduros.

601 Blue Labal Maduro by Don Pepin Garcia
Size: Toro (6.25" x 52 ring)
Taste: Medium
Draw: Good - a little tight but at first but loosened up quickly
Burn: Even and consistent throughout
Flavors: Roasted Nut and smooth Cocoa makes this cigar a true pleasure.
Overall Rating:

A quick drink and cigar pairing note...

I have found that a good brandy (not one of my usual drinks) goes surprisingly well with the Castle Hall by Gurkha that I reviewed here.

The sweetness of the brandy brings out the sweet nut flavor that makes the Castle Hall so enjoyable.

So try that out next time you are on the run from the law, you scofflaw you.

Now run, I see John Law bearing down. RUN!